I Will Not Be Shaken

There are some events in our lives that are impossible to put into words; seasons we walk through that strip us of everything we thought we knew about ourselves and God. Our first term as missionaries in Kenya was this kind of season for me. But by God’s grace, I turned to Christ instead of away from him. And God heard my cries for help, reached down to rescue me, and began a spiritual awakening in my life unlike I’ve ever experienced.

“I have set the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”
Psalm 16:8

On June 1st, 2017, one year ago today, I purposed to set the Lord always before me. I was shaken, broken, and at the very end of myself. I never would have understood how low a believer could go unless I had walked through the darkest night of my soul after experiencing so much loss and uncertainty. But when I cried out to God, he answered my cry - not in my timeline - but he came. And when he came he came like a flood, tearing down walls and bringing clarity to my deepest heart struggles, healing to my wounded spirit, and answers to my hardest questions. He is transforming me at the deepest level of who I am and equipping me to live a radical life for Christ I know full well I am incapable of doing in my own strength.

You see, fear, anxiety, shame and a feeling of never belonging were things I’d carried my entire adult life. Difficult events from my childhood and young adult years had piled up, so when we experienced such hardship in Kenya, I had no spiritual reserve and began drowning in the baggage and harmful thought patterns that developed as a result.

But my God is a healer! He is drawing me to himself, healing me, and setting me free to live abundantly and shine brightly for him. These deep struggles are being laid to rest and I am beginning again. I’m reestablishing my identity in Christ as I realized God was not who I thought he was, and I didn’t know who I was, especially who I am in Christ. My experiences and perspective told a different story than was true. But as I have gone back to the Bible, along with great biblical resources, and learned what it truly means to abide in him, God is leading me on an incredible journey of finding him again. And finding myself, really, for the very first time.

So today, one year later, I can now say with conviction; “I have set the Lord always before. Because he is at my right hand, I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN.”

The LORD is my strength and my song; he has given me victory! (Ps. 118:14) He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the LORD. (Ps. 40:30) I cannot praise his name enough for the work he has done in my life.