New birth. It’s something caterpillars experience. Seeds. And people who begin a personal relationship with Christ. And it’s now my story, too. A story I never would have dreamed for myself and had no reference point for when God’s full healing and renewal came. Did you know God’s resurrection power isn’t just for your initial salvation experience? It’s available to anyone who would cry out to Him for love and rescue. In my darkest day, I cried out to God in sheer desperation. I had no idea how to move forward. But today, one year after God broke through and began His great rescue of my heart, I have been reborn with a brand new heart and identity.
James 4:8 says draw near to God and He will draw near to you. This has become so real for me I find myself trembling at the reality of Emmanuel. When I created the space to meet God, sacrificing sleep most days to spend 45 minutes in devotional time and raw, honest, broken prayer, the walls began coming down. As they started falling I could see the outline of who God really is. But it wasn’t until a recent trial crushed me I was ready for complete renewal. When the last enemy had been slain, the last known sin confessed, the last wound of my heart healed, everything changed. I found myself face to face with God. Not the God of my childhood, but THE GOD of Heaven. Not the strict, harsh God of my misunderstandings, but a gentle God who wanted to rescue me and whose greatest desire is nearness to my heart.
God alone was my Healer in this process as I never went to regular counseling and was not recommended a recovery program. From dark depression and sickening fear, to staggering clarity and joy in one year, is only a miracle He could perform. He led me to scripture that was shockingly relevant to me. He placed books in my hands by great authors whose words counseled me. He brought up difficult memories for me to take to Him and grieve through.
Today He has surrounded me with a body of believers with whom I feel a deep sense of love and belonging. Did you know I’ve lived my entire life without that? Well, this year, I have been drowning in assurance that I have hundreds of people in my world who know me, love me, and want to spend time with me. And as if all this weren’t enough, God has begun bringing in funds for our return to Kenya with shocking generosity. I find myself looking to the sky saying, who ARE you God? Because He is so different than I thought He was.
The God I thought I knew was over there. My God is in my face, all over my life, ever asking for increased portions of my heart. Simultaneously making my aching heart complete in ways I never knew possible.
The God I thought I knew was ambiguous and not super interesting to me. My God is astonishingly beautiful. All the beauty in all of creation is but a dim reflection of Him. All the love, joy, kindness, grace, redemption and anything else in this world that stirs our hearts and brings us deep satisfaction, are all reflections of who He is as a Being.
The God I thought I knew was small. He was preoccupied with other people’s cool stories and forgot about Melodie. My God is infinite. He is fully present in my world. He sustains creation from the worms in the ground, to the majestic giraffe, to the sun that rises and sets. He is within my heart and within the stars in the farthest reaches of the cosmos. But these are just His creation! He Himself is so vast He could never be measured. To get an idea of how mind boggling this is, consider this: When we’re in Heaven a billion years from now, there will still be things we are learning about God. This length of time would intimidate me if I was not getting acquainted with this Great Gentle God of love and wisdom. Oh, and this also means that Satan is really really small. Whom shall I fear when the Infinite God of Eternity is my Father?
The God I thought I knew sent His Son Jesus to die for the sins of the world. But I was just a number that happened to be included in this “world.” My God loved me personally before the beginning of time and every part of the agonizing sacrifice for my sins was equally for me as for any other person.
One of the biggest changes in my perspective about God is learning that He is crazy about our hearts. I used to think He was preoccupied with His glory. While He absolutely deserves glory, the primary way He gets this is by us giving Him our hearts. All of our hearts, all the time, for all our lives. All the hearts of my American friends, Liberian friends, Kenyan friends, and those from every tribe and nation of the world. He wants each of us.
After wandering alone for so many years, I have found my place of belonging as a Child of the God of Heaven, surrounded by the body of Christ, believers from all around the world. I’m starting over with a brand new heart and unshakable identity. My mourning has been turned to joy, my ashes to beauty.
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people to be his very own and to proclaim the wonderful deeds of the one who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9
This beautiful song has been continuously played during this precious season. You can listen to it here on YouTube.
Over All I Know
You tell mountains they must fall and they fall
You tell oceans to be still and they're calm
You tell sickness it must leave and it's gone
In my weakness, God, I know You are strong
You are the one above it all
I stand in awe, You're the God over all I know
No higher Name, no greater throne
You stand alone, You're the God over all I know
You tell broken things be healed and they're whole
You tell fear it has no place, it must go
You tell death it has no chance, it won't win
And if You are for me, God what can come against?
You are the one above it all
I stand in awe, You're the God over all I know
No higher Name, no greater throne
You stand alone, You're the God over all I know
I believe it, I have seen it
My God is over all
I believe it, I have seen it
My God is over all
“I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord, Almighty.” 2 Cor. 6:18

What kind of inconvenience would you endure to tell another about saving faith in Jesus Christ? The more we grow in the Lord the more we should be compelled to tell others about the extravagant love the God of Heaven is offering people. We’re eager to return to Northern Kenya where many have not yet heard this astonishing news.
We didn’t see Ngurunit and the Samburu tribe on our horizon when we first arrived in Kenya November 2015. But through a series of difficult, though sovereignly orchestrated, events we find ourselves in this beautiful village working with brothers and sisters to share Christ with this people group that God loves. The fields are ripe for harvest! God is the One who goes before us preparing hearts and planting seeds of truth into minds. Will you pray for eyes to be opened to God beckoning them to salvation?
It’s difficult to know how best to prepare for one’s future. Thankfully God is omnipotent and equips His children for the work He has prepared in advance for them to do. When we went to Kenya in 2015, we were as prepared as we knew to be. But those first two years were more about molding and shaping us than planting us in vibrant ministry. As we returned to the states for our home assignment, we had a better idea of how we needed to prepare for our future. We needed healing, homeschooling preparation, increased financial support, and to complete the transition to our new mission (to name some).
It has been a special 11 months with so much happening in our family. God has healed, strengthened, taught, and unified us for our return. We’ve completed most of the objectives we had for this time in the states. Praise God for answering so many prayers and strengthening us for the future!
October, we began our last training session at SIM. We enjoyed sitting in classes on topics we’re very interested in and gaining some relevant knowledge for our future, while our kids had a blast in the Missionary Kids program.
As we look ahead, we are prayerfully preparing to return to Kenya in January. We need to raise more support before this can happen. But God is on the move! In the past two months our support level has risen greatly in monthly donations and we’ve generously been given much towards our one-time expenses! Practically we still need about $1,500 in monthly donations and roughly $5,000+ in one time gifts. These one time gifts will help cover things like airline tickets, excess baggage fees, and some government of Kenya fees we have upcoming. We also are still working on purchasing some tools and supplies as funds permit. We still need folks to join the team! All size commitments are helpful. Also for those praying about where to send year end tax deductible gifts, we would love for you to consider the work we are part of in Northern Kenya.
Philippians 4:17 says that those who partner with God’s work around the world will receive rewards for the gift of their finances and prayers. We can’t wait to get back to Kenya and get to know the people around us so they may know our God through us. He is the God who loves human hearts and the greatest gift we can give Him is humbly leading others to His salvation. Thanks to you who share in the gift of this calling with us. We honestly would not choose the ease of a salary over donations from individuals and churches as this gives you the chance to share Christ through us to people God is longing to bring home to His heart.