25% Off My Calendar!

From now through December 14th receive 25% off any order from Lulu.com (promo code: COUNTDOWNUK). This would be a great time to order my 2012 Liberia calendar! To learn more about the calendars, click here. To place an order, go here.

Adoption Awareness Month

It's Adoption Awareness month. Most families don't think about adoption unless they can't have biological children. I encourage everyone to at least consider adoption. Adoption is a biblical concept and changes the adoptive family in incredible ways. It's also the chance to change one life (or more), to disciple one soul, in a way that no other ministry can quite compare to. There are thousands of children worldwide in need of adoption.

This is one of my favorite adoption related videos.

Hope is Fading

-Melodie

2012 Liberia Calendar!

In order to help us out a bit financially as we prepare for missions, I have put together a calendar of photos I have taken in Liberia. The calendar includes all Liberian national holidays in addition to the standard American ones.

There are two sizes, large (black and white photo on cover), which is 13.5 by 19 inches, and small (colored photo on cover) which is 11 by 17 inches. All the pictures are the same on the inside. Both calendars are called "Faces of Liberia".

Here's a look at some of the pages on the inside:

I have made these calendars keeping in mind all the families I know who are connected to Liberia in some way or another, whether by adoption, through mission work, or just through prayer. Perhaps they will make a unique Christmas gift for your loved one who is connected to this beautiful country!

To order a calendar click here, or see the button on the sidebar.

-Melodie

Something to Think About: Is Your Family's Size My Business?

Why is it that in our country today, it is not considered politically incorrect to have an abortion? To terminate a child's life at almost any stage of pregnancy?

Why is it that it is completely OK with the vast majority of Americans to control the size of one's family through various methods of birth-control?

Why is it that it is considered acceptable for a parent of 1, 2, 3, X amount of children to roll their eyes at how difficult their kids are and how they would "die" if they had another? Or for them to say "You're pregnant! I'm so glad it's not me." (Happened to me the other day.)

Yet somehow a family is criticized if they are doing nothing to prevent pregnancy and they are "letting God plan their family size."

A family who has 4 children (sometimes less) is often asked if they are "done."

A family with 6 or more children is critiqued by strangers as to the quality of care they can possibly give "so many children," and if they "know what causes that."

If it is OK for people to not want a ton of kids, and to prevent pregnancy, why can't those who WANT a bunch of kids be given the same acceptance?

I understand that families are different and kids are different and there are a lot of factors that contribute to how many children a family decides (or is able) to have. I do not feel there is one correct size for a family. I also have no personal convictions against preventing pregnancy through healthy and safe methods (of course I am against abortion).

Yet if it is a matter of personal opinion to have 2 kids, can't we let it be a matter of personal opinion of someone wants 8? If it is a matter of personal opinion to prevent pregnancy, can't it be a matter of personal opinion to do nothing to prevent pregnancy?

Yes, many people will say that it is hard for a family of many kids to properly care for them all. Of course there will be some logistics to consider, but statistics do not really show that children of small families grow up healthier than children of large families. I've seen families who are doing a poor job raising 2 kids and families that are doing an excellent job raising 12 kids. If there is a problem with having a lot of kids, the problem has to do with the parenting, not the number of children.

It may be overwhelming for someone who feels they are only able to handle 3 kids to see a family with 8 kids. But the way to handle the situation is not to say "I could never do that!" or "you must be super woman!" or "I hope you are done!" Rather it's to keep your opinions and fears to yourself and ask God to give you the grace to handle the 3 he has given you. Chances are the family of 8 is madly in love with each of their kids and conversation starters like those mentioned above will not reflect the love Jesus has for children, even though it is true that many kids can be overwhelming sometimes.

While we do not plan on having 12 children, what offends me about the negative attitude many people portray when it comes to having more children than they think is ideal (whether that be 3 kids or 7, or 10), is that, whether or not the parent or random stranger realizes it, it acts like children are mostly a burden. You think my kids are cute? Let me set you straight by telling you what a burden there are. You have many kids? Let's make some small talk about what a burden they are.

Let us remember that children are a blessing from the Lord. Whether you have 2, and that’s all your family is planning to have, or 10. Lets not say negative things in front of them and others that devalue what children are; precious gifts of God.

Matthew 18:10 "See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven."

Mark 10:14 "But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, 'Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.'"

Psalm 127:3-5 "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

Here are some links to more good reading on this issue:

Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

"Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen…. Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing."

Large Families Are Not Rare

"The other common theme is how much each of these adult children from large families has expressed how much they LOVED growing up surrounded by many siblings! Again and again they have each said how much fun it was, how close they are to their siblings, how they wouldn't trade it for anything. Yet, I cannot tell you the number of times I have heard negative comments that children in big families will HATE it because they didn't get enough one-on-one attention from their parents, that they had to help out too much, had to share a room, blah, blah, blah. Really? Ask the children in large families!"

Girl's Night at Starbucks

"Our children have always come right at the top of the priority list in our marriage. Our large family wasn't accidental. We wanted to surround our selves with children and in very short time we did."

Eleventy Billion Quips You’ll Hear About Your Large Family

"As we all joked about these and had a good laugh, I realized that most people (with the exception of some who are just all drama) say these things with all sincerity. They genuinely feel like these comments are wanted, appreciated or that it will spur on a fruitful discussion. I'm actually not sure why private issues like fertility have become such common place topics to bring up with strangers."

(And not all large families are Catholic!)

Something to think about…

Melodie

I have a new brother!!!

As you know, I worked with adoptions in Liberia for about 3 years. During that time I helped my family as they cared for many foster babies. It was hard to see them go on to their respective adoptive families, yet we knew it was the right thing to do. Some babies we were closer to than others and it was even more difficult to say good-bye. I often prayed that God would let my family keep at least one of these babies. Well, my dream has come true! In what is truly a miracle, especially considering the current state of adoptions in Liberia, my family has welcomed a new child - Jonah - into their family.

Here is the story as written by my mom. (View the original post on her blog here.)

On Making Jonah a Sheppard

In 1986 I was pregnant with Nathan when Mark and I, along with toddlers John Mark and Melodie, left Minnesota's cold and snow for mission work in Liberia's never-ending summer. It turned out to be a life filled with more adventure and challenge than we could have possibly imagined. Despite many harrowing experiences in the years that followed - a civil war and its subsequent work among the refugees - by God's help we and our children (Heidi and Jared made five) not only survived, we learned to thrive.

(Sheppard Family in 2003)

After nearly twelve years in refugee work in the Ivory Coast, when the war ended and we returned to Liberia our focus was on the training of national leadership. All of these were adults, of course. However, God opened a door for us to touch lives through fostering. With the help of our children we took in numerous Liberian babies and toddlers who were later adopted into the homes of Americans. It was one of the most amazing ministries God ever gave us as missionaries. We had the opportunity to touch a child - in some cases to literally save a life - and then send that little one on to a loving Christian home. During this process, as we were out and about or when people came from the States to be united with their child, we were often asked if we planned to adopt a child ourselves. We always replied by saying that if God wanted us to adopt, He would have to make one child stand out.

At the end of 2008, after our one year home assignment in the States, we flew back to Liberia with Heidi, Jared and Melodie. Melodie, now a young adult, felt God was leading her back to Liberia to minister in her areas of greatest passion - the discipleship of women and the care of needy children.

(Melodie with neighborhood kids in December 2008)

After a busy Christmas and New Year 2008/2009 conference season in the interior of Liberia we returned to Monrovia, excited and primed to resume fostering. Melodie was already involved in the lives of a group of needy children from a local orphanage and within weeks we had three little boys sharing our home.

(Jonah at 12 months in January of 2009)

Boy #1, Jonah, was an extremely sad, 11-pound, one-year old. He had suffered several serious illnesses and was in desperate need of the love of a family. Boy #2, Titus, had a similar story. He, too, needed that same special attention as he waited to go to his "forever family." Boy #3, Levi, was a severely handicapped little guy and extremely close to death when he came to us. Our house and hands were full.

At the end of January 2009 an event occurred that would change the course of our lives forever. The Liberian government placed a moratorium on all international adoption. This sent our world, and that of many others, into a spin. I begged God for His mercy on the Liberian children with adoptions in process. I deeply feared for the future of the little boys in our home whom I loved so much.

(Titus and Heidi in 2009)

In the blackness of the African night I struggled with understanding the promise of Romans 8:28-29. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren" (NKJV). While I was very familiar with those verses and had seen them played out in my life literally hundreds of times - that ultimate "good" of becoming more like Christ as a result of trial (vs. 29) - I could not imagine a scenario produced by the moratorium itself that was anything other than heartbreaking.

Time passed. After three months, Levi, who was now in great health but whose needs were more than we could handle permanently, went to live in a well-run special needs orphanage. Meanwhile Titus and Jonah learned to crawl, walk, and finally, run. We went through all the toddler stages with them. Finally, because his adoption decree had been signed before the moratorium, sixteen months after his arrival in our home Titus was allowed to go to his adoptive parents. We loved him tremendously, but rejoiced without reservation that the door had opened for him to go to the precious young couple that had prayed and waited so long for him to join their family.

(Titus, Nancy, Jonah and Mark - June 2010)

Jonah had no such decree and the moratorium remained in place with no end in sight. One child. One special child to whom we were attached at the heart. It gradually dawned on us that God was doing just what we had said He would have to do for us to know that we were to adopt. One child was standing out.

The decision to adopt Jonah was a big one, but, nevertheless, it was much easier decided than done. After waiting and waiting and waiting, through what can only be called a miracle of God's grace, He placed our case and the case of one other missionary family on the heart of the person in the administration of the government of Liberia who could allow an exception. While the moratorium for international adoptions continued, our two families were allowed to proceed as residents to adopt our long-term fostered children. There was no explanation for the mercy being extended to us other than God touching hearts as a result of the thousands upon thousands of prayers that had gone up on behalf of these two little boys. The following weeks were a flurry of activity as we did all within our power to prepare the documents necessary to adopt. The home study was done, the case study prepared and personal documents secured. The relevant papers were submitted to a local attorney who prepared the adoption decree to present to the judge. And then more waiting. Several more weeks. But at last, on October 27, we received the signed decree.

(Jonah after a baptism - January 2011)

Two years and nine months after his arrival into our home, Jonah became a Sheppard. As we look at this precious little boy who has become such an integral part of our lives, we are awestruck at the cleverness of God. Only He could have arranged a situation so perfectly that we would know beyond any shadow of a doubt this child was meant to be ours.

Years ago, as I agonized over the implications of the moratorium, I could not see how anything good could ever come from it. Ever. But there is no denying it grew us spiritually. And, among other things, through it God allowed me to see a side of my husband I had never seen before as he fought for the hurting children of Liberia. The moratorium also revealed my weakness, an unpleasant but necessary "good." I, who thought I had grown beyond not trusting God in trying situations, learned that certainly was not the case. Over and over I had to give my fear for Jonah's future to God, knowing if I didn't I would be consumed by it. God has been more than faithful and He has taught me, once again, to rest in Him.

Mark and I are totally humbled by the grace God has poured out on our lives. Despite our fears and doubts, God has used the thing that initially filled our hearts with dread - the moratorium on adoption in Liberia - for good. It is the reason we have a new son. His name is Jonah. He is our miracle.

Love,

Mark and Nancy Sheppard

(Jonah James Sheppard, October 2011)