Open Letter to My Friends (And Other Adoptive Parents) on Ethical Adoption

Some of you might be surprised that I started a series on ethical adoption. It might seem to you that I'm taking the side of those who are biased against the efforts of kind people, specifically Christians, to provide a home for needy orphans. Trust me, I am still passionate about helping needy children, but it needs to be done in the right way. (Which absolutely includes adoption sometimes.)

I know it may be hard for you to understand all I have seen and exactly where I am coming from. There has been so much heavy on my heart for the past years and I didn't make sense of it all myself until recently. I realize you may not agree with me on some of my points, and that's okay.  I will not be critical of you if we don't completely see eye to eye on this issue. But please ask me questions. I'll either answer you directly or address it in my series.

Many of you have already adopted internationally. Whether or not your adoptions were ethical is irrelevant to me at this point. We are friends and the children you have now are yours. What's done is done. And no matter what Kathryn Joyce or any one else says, I still think it was very noble for evangelicals to be so excited about adoption. While it's true that some of that passion should have been directed else-where (like towards missions, the care of widows, etc), I will never, ever be critical of someone who was passionate about helping children in need.

Those of you who are in the process of adopting internationally, I won't say that you should stop. But I do hope you will take extra efforts to ensure that your adoptions are ethical. I challenge you to not let your desire for a child blind you from taking the very necessary steps to ensuring your adoptions are ethical. Sometimes this may even mean walking away from a particular child you are already matched with. International adoption is far more complicated than I ever thought it was, but that does not mean it is always bad. I would also challenge you to consider possibly adopting domestically, or a child with special needs.

Thank you for your friendship over the years and for your heart for those in need. I only want to share the truth which God has convicted me, and not cause division.

In Christ,
Melodie




1 comments:

Denise Horrocks said...

Be brave enough to ask the hard questions, even if it means, as you said, that you have to walk away from a particular child.--May you find courage in God to continue writing this series, it's needed. DLH